By Lauren Weber with Eliot Nelson
You thought 2048 was addicting? Some evil genius combined Flappy Birds and the addictive numbers game. There goes the rest of our Friday. This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Friday, April 11, 2014.
The Scuttlebutt
TOP STORIES
KATHLEEN SEBELIUS RESIGNS, OBAMA NOMINATES NEW HHS SECRETARY
"U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius is resigning after overseeing the botched rollout of President Barack Obama's signature healthcare law, a White House official said on Thursday." OMB Director Sylvia Burwell was tapped as her replacement. Politicians on both sides of the aisle have mixed reactions about Sebelius' departure. [Reuters]
INTERNET BREACH COULD AFFECT CELL PHONES
The Heartbleed internet breach could expose your cell phone and email systems. The bug has been found in everything from Cisco routers to Juniper gear. [Reuters]
CALIFORNIA BUS CRASH KILLS NINE
"A FedEx tractor-trailer crossed a grassy freeway median Thursday in Northern California and slammed into a bus carrying high school students on a visit to a college. At least nine were killed in the fiery crash, authorities said." [AP]
STATESIDE: More Guns for Pilots?
Rand Paul wants every pilot to be armed. Americans are having more dogs than babies. Someone chucked a shoe at Hillary Clinton. Here's a list of people throwing stuff at politicians ranked by how happy they are with themselves for executing the modern-day tomato throw. Authorities are still trying to make sense of what could have caused the sixteen-year-old to go on his stabbing spree. And watch out: Social Security and the Treasury are taking money from descendents' tax refunds to repay their parents' decades-old debts.
In baby elephant news, here's one blowing bubbles.
INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Heartbleed Exposure Worse Than We Thought
Russia won't hand over ousted Ukranian President Viktor Yanukovich, and satellite images show over 40,000 Russian troops poised at the Ukranian border. This set of conjoined twins refuses to be separated. As for the missing plane, while Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott said he was very confident, officials backtracked from their certainty about the validity of the pings detected Thursday. And scientists think a scrap of papyrus referring to "Jesus's wife" is legit.
In body language news, here's what your cat is really saying to you.
BUY! SELL! BUY! Sad Jamie Dimon
Starting next week, you too can look like the tech equivalent of a popped collar when Google Glass goes on sale. J.P. Morgan's earnings fell almost 20%. Jamie Dimon is probably not cracking a grin today. Fears over inflated valuations are rising as tech stocks continue to sell-off. Fewer Americans filed for unemployment benefits last week than any time before 2007. Here's what the latest iPhone 6 leaks look like. Sony warns that their new computer batteries could catch on fire. Because that's safe.
In greetings news, here's a cat who cannot make sense of a singing card.
SCOUTING REPORT: Augusta Hats Galore
Lolo Jones learned the hard way not to trash Rihanna on Twitter. A Yankees pitcher had a questionable substance on his pitching hand last night. 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick and two other NFL players are under investigation for sexual misconduct. And Bill Haas is leading the Master's going into the second day at Augusta, but we really just want a hat. [Image via Golf Shop]
In baby okapi news, here's one who got to go outside for the first time.
CULTURE CATCH-UP: Colbert to 'Late Show'
Say goodbye to Stephen Colbert's alternate personality -- the real Stephen Colbert is headed to the 'Late Show'. Vulture has a few questions, including what does this mean for Craig Ferguson and whether a non-white male will get a shot at late night. The new trailer for season 5 of "16 and Pregnant" is the best form of birth control there is. And the 'Rosemary's Baby' mini-series is going to premiere on Mother's Day. Perfection.
In car wash news, here's a dog enjoying his first one.
LIVIN': Babies and Bars
Here's how to up your online shopping game. Check out these tips on rocking every photo you take. Here's how to make your living space look straight out of "Mad Men." Don't forget the whiskey. Prepare to lose the next bajillion hours to the Flappy Bird/2048 combo game. And want to take a baby to a bar? Of course you do!
In K9 news, here's a literal dogpile.
OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: And We'll Never Be Rooooooyals
Hillary Duff and her hockey player husband called off their divorce. Mazels! Kylie Jenner is insulted by your plastic surgery rumors. A "Duck Dynasty" star revealed she was sexually abused as a child. And Kate beat Prince William in a yacht race. Reached for comment, they told us our lives suck.
In flopping news, here's a kid landing one heckuva dive.
TWITTERATI
@StephenAtHome: Let's see...what to tweet about, what to tweet about? I got nothing. What's new with you?
@jimmyfallon: I'd like to welcome the great @StephenAtHome to network late night and also congratulate him on his new name: Jimmy Colbert.
@capricecrane: If a girl asks another girl where she got an article of clothing and she says she "doesn't remember," that bitch is straight-up lying.
@morningmoneyben: I see you favin', not retweetin', you hatin'
@IAmSteveHarvey: #FamilyFeud
Survey Says:
Naughty nudies
Booze
Music
Food
Girlfriends.
ONE MORE THING
Here are photos of eight of Google's craziest office spaces.
Got something to add? Send tips/quips/quotes/stories/photos/events/scoops to Lauren Weber (lauren.weber@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter (@LaurenWeberHP). Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here.
The Scuttlebutt
- Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius resigns after overseeing Obamacare's botched rollout
- That massive internet breach may have exposed your cell phone
- What to expect from Stephen Colbert on "The Late Show"
TOP STORIES
KATHLEEN SEBELIUS RESIGNS, OBAMA NOMINATES NEW HHS SECRETARY
"U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius is resigning after overseeing the botched rollout of President Barack Obama's signature healthcare law, a White House official said on Thursday." OMB Director Sylvia Burwell was tapped as her replacement. Politicians on both sides of the aisle have mixed reactions about Sebelius' departure. [Reuters]INTERNET BREACH COULD AFFECT CELL PHONES
The Heartbleed internet breach could expose your cell phone and email systems. The bug has been found in everything from Cisco routers to Juniper gear. [Reuters]
CALIFORNIA BUS CRASH KILLS NINE
"A FedEx tractor-trailer crossed a grassy freeway median Thursday in Northern California and slammed into a bus carrying high school students on a visit to a college. At least nine were killed in the fiery crash, authorities said." [AP]
STATESIDE: More Guns for Pilots?
Rand Paul wants every pilot to be armed. Americans are having more dogs than babies. Someone chucked a shoe at Hillary Clinton. Here's a list of people throwing stuff at politicians ranked by how happy they are with themselves for executing the modern-day tomato throw. Authorities are still trying to make sense of what could have caused the sixteen-year-old to go on his stabbing spree. And watch out: Social Security and the Treasury are taking money from descendents' tax refunds to repay their parents' decades-old debts.In baby elephant news, here's one blowing bubbles.
INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Heartbleed Exposure Worse Than We Thought
Russia won't hand over ousted Ukranian President Viktor Yanukovich, and satellite images show over 40,000 Russian troops poised at the Ukranian border. This set of conjoined twins refuses to be separated. As for the missing plane, while Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott said he was very confident, officials backtracked from their certainty about the validity of the pings detected Thursday. And scientists think a scrap of papyrus referring to "Jesus's wife" is legit.
In body language news, here's what your cat is really saying to you.
BUY! SELL! BUY! Sad Jamie Dimon
Starting next week, you too can look like the tech equivalent of a popped collar when Google Glass goes on sale. J.P. Morgan's earnings fell almost 20%. Jamie Dimon is probably not cracking a grin today. Fears over inflated valuations are rising as tech stocks continue to sell-off. Fewer Americans filed for unemployment benefits last week than any time before 2007. Here's what the latest iPhone 6 leaks look like. Sony warns that their new computer batteries could catch on fire. Because that's safe.
In greetings news, here's a cat who cannot make sense of a singing card.
SCOUTING REPORT: Augusta Hats Galore
Lolo Jones learned the hard way not to trash Rihanna on Twitter. A Yankees pitcher had a questionable substance on his pitching hand last night. 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick and two other NFL players are under investigation for sexual misconduct. And Bill Haas is leading the Master's going into the second day at Augusta, but we really just want a hat. [Image via Golf Shop]In baby okapi news, here's one who got to go outside for the first time.
CULTURE CATCH-UP: Colbert to 'Late Show'
Say goodbye to Stephen Colbert's alternate personality -- the real Stephen Colbert is headed to the 'Late Show'. Vulture has a few questions, including what does this mean for Craig Ferguson and whether a non-white male will get a shot at late night. The new trailer for season 5 of "16 and Pregnant" is the best form of birth control there is. And the 'Rosemary's Baby' mini-series is going to premiere on Mother's Day. Perfection.In car wash news, here's a dog enjoying his first one.
LIVIN': Babies and Bars
Here's how to up your online shopping game. Check out these tips on rocking every photo you take. Here's how to make your living space look straight out of "Mad Men." Don't forget the whiskey. Prepare to lose the next bajillion hours to the Flappy Bird/2048 combo game. And want to take a baby to a bar? Of course you do!
In K9 news, here's a literal dogpile.
OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: And We'll Never Be Rooooooyals
Hillary Duff and her hockey player husband called off their divorce. Mazels! Kylie Jenner is insulted by your plastic surgery rumors. A "Duck Dynasty" star revealed she was sexually abused as a child. And Kate beat Prince William in a yacht race. Reached for comment, they told us our lives suck.In flopping news, here's a kid landing one heckuva dive.
TWITTERATI
@StephenAtHome: Let's see...what to tweet about, what to tweet about? I got nothing. What's new with you?
@jimmyfallon: I'd like to welcome the great @StephenAtHome to network late night and also congratulate him on his new name: Jimmy Colbert.
@capricecrane: If a girl asks another girl where she got an article of clothing and she says she "doesn't remember," that bitch is straight-up lying.
@morningmoneyben: I see you favin', not retweetin', you hatin'
@IAmSteveHarvey: #FamilyFeud
Survey Says:
Naughty nudies
Booze
Music
Food
Girlfriends.
ONE MORE THING
Here are photos of eight of Google's craziest office spaces.
Got something to add? Send tips/quips/quotes/stories/photos/events/scoops to Lauren Weber (lauren.weber@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter (@LaurenWeberHP). Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here.
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