Thursday's Morning Email: Obama Meets Pope Francis

The
Great news people: today is the day the waffle taco arrives. This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Thursday, March 27, 2014.

The Scuttlebutt

TOP STORIES

OBAMA, POPE FRANCIS MEET FOR FIRST TIME
"President Barack Obama called himself a "great admirer" of Pope Francis as he sat down at the Vatican Thursday with the pontiff he considers a kindred spirit on issues of economic inequality. Their historic first meeting comes as Obama's administration and the church remain deeply split on issues of abortion and contraception." [NPR]

THAI SATELLITE FINDS 300 POSSIBLE PIECES OF MISSING PLANE
The son of Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370's pilot defended his father, who an investigator is accusing of being the sole reason for the plane's disappearance. CNN answers six questions you probably have about the missing flight and shows the most recent satellite imagery. The New York Times examines the geopolitical rivalries and teamwork behind one of the biggest aerial searches of all time. And Isaac Saul analyzes why the tragedy has transfixed the world. [AP]

MUDSLIDE SEARCH CONTINUES, 90 MORE FEARED DEAD
The tragedy has revealed a lack of historical data on previous mudslides, and researchers are scrambling to find ways to predict future tragedies. Thankfully, some have been found alive. Here's footage of a four-year-old boy's incredible rescue. [AP]

STATESIDE: Secret Service Shame
The Secret Service's woes don't end in the Netherlands; reports of a drunk driving incident in Miami surfaced yesterday. A quarter of people in this state can't afford food. A half-blind security guard at the World Trade Center says he's glad he was fired after falling asleep on the job -- so are we. Scientists discovered a new brain pattern in autistic children. Connecticut raised the minimum wage to the highest statewide level in the country. Two Boston firefighters died, and 13 more were injured battling a brownstone blaze. Chris Christie's internal Bridge-gate investigation has cleared the remainder of his aides...go figure. And urban areas are growing, while the suburbs are shrinking.

In pudginess news, here's a dog trying to squeeze through his doggy door.

INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Haircuts All Around?
Latest estimates put the number of Russian troops on the Ukrainian border at 30,000. Congress is rushing to pass an aid bill for the besieged nation, while the IMF already finalized an $18-billion deal. The Washington Post debunks the viral story that all of North Korea's male university students are required to get Kim Jong Un haircuts. Lufthansa has grounded over 600 flights as a strike inches closer to reality. And the general who overthrew Egypt's first elected president threw his own hat in the presidential ring.

In sleeping seal news, here's one who just woke up.

BUY! SELL! BUY! Welcome, Waffle Taco
Dos Equis just released a margarita, making it the most interesting drink in the world. The Fed nixed a plan for Citi to up its dividends to investors. Reverse mortgages may save homes for the elderly, only to take them from their heirs. And Taco Bell's waffle taco begins what we're sure will be a historic run today. Godspeed.

In peekabo news, here's an adorable prairie dog.

SCOUTING REPORT: Gotta Love Peyton
Peyton Manning asked to cut his salary, which is either a classy move or history's worst negotiating tactic. This is huge: Northwestern's football team has been allowed to unionize. That effectively makes them university employees. Nebraska's football head coach got in on a surprise homecoming for Sergeant Matthew Salomons. The NFL moved to cut down on taunting. And this hockey player reminded us that your skates need to have blades if you're going to not look like an asshat on the ice.

In paper news, here's a cat who likes groping dead trees.

CULTURE CATCH-UP: Needed Emoji Update
The headlining acts at this year's Lollapalooza were released. A "Scandal" star was arrested after a bar fight. Scandal! Fans are disappointed by the lack of steamy scenes in the first footage from the "Fifty Shades of Grey" film adaptation. The "Game of Thrones" crew used a body double when Jon Snow stripped down last season. We know nothing, Jon Snow. Apple's looking to "make its emoji offerings more multicultural." The arc of history is long, but it bends toward :) . And "I Wanna Marry 'Harry'" (who doesn't???) is a new reality TV show where women compete for Prince Harry's hand. What they don't know is they're not romancing the actual Prince Harry. Shocker. [Image via Washington Post]

In brainfreeze news, here's a bunch of dogs who love ice cream.

LIVIN': Whole Foods or Trader Joe's???
Check out an early preview of Jauntful, an app that allows you to view and print maps of your friends' routes through cities. Time to up your stalking game, folks. Want to amp up the color in your home? Here are some great tips. When the sun finally comes out tomorrow, here's some spring staples you need in your closet. And it's an age old question: Whole Foods or Trader Joe's? Here's a chart to help you figure it out.

In cuteness news, here's a little girl taking her horse for a walk.

OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: Ideal Royal Selfie
Katy Perry moved on from John Mayer in the most ridiculous way possible. Jennifer Aniston explains what made her gain "a couple extra pounds." Simon Cowell's baby mama shows off her post-baby body. Here's what a Royal selfie might look like. L'Wren Scott left her entire estate to Mick Jagger. And what can't Emma Watson wear?

In hair news, here's a bunny rockin' a Donald Trump haircut.

TWITTERATI

@BetteMidler: What should I wear to the book signing on Monday? I worry; you're not considered a professional entertainer now unless you dress like a ho.

@AnnaKendrick47: Oh, Sean Bean. Even in National Treasure I'd still hit that.

@daxshepard1: The act of changing into a different outfit each day is seeming more and more ridiculous as I age. Drawing ever closer to my jumpsuit phase.

@ochocinco: Any of my followers in Paris still up?

@FINALLEVEL: S/O To all the clowns popping bottles.. With no furniture in their crib.

ONE MORE THING
Here are the ten best sentences in the English language.

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