Monday's Morning Email: Could The Pilot Be Behind The Missing Plane?

The
March Madness: Both the basketball and weather kinds. This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Monday, March 17, 2014.

The Scuttlebutt

TOP STORIES

CRIMEA DECLARES INDEPENDENCE FROM UKRAINE After a referendum passed overwhelmingly in favor of joining Russia on Sunday, Crimea declared independence from Ukraine. The U.S. refuses to recognize the move, citing voter intimidation. [AP]

PILOTS, CREW UNDER SUSPICION IN MISSING FLIGHT Authorities are taking a closer look at Malaysia Airlines 370's pilots and crew after learning the pilot radioed after the communications system was deliberately turned off. Relatives are holding out hope that maybe, just maybe the plane landed somewhere safely. And The Washington Post maps out where the plane could be. [Reuters]

WEARING WHITE FOR ST. PATRICK'S DAY Everywhere from St. Louis to New York is being hit with more snow. Winter will never leave us. Protect the fire. [USA Today]

STATESIDE: Broken Wings
Guinness pulled its support from the St. Patrick's Day parade in NYC since gay and lesbian groups are unable to march openly. Sexual assault charges were downgraded as part of a plea deal in the trial of one of the highest-ranking military officials to face such accusations. The founder of Westboro Baptist Church is dying, his estranged son revealed yesterday, along with the fact that he was excommunicated from his own church. A seriously injured victim of the SXSW hit-and-run was visited in her hospital bedroom by the band she was there to see. A new cancer vaccine for melanoma could be the future of treatment. The Obama White House is censoring or denying access to more documents than ever before. And a Delta plane lost part of its wing panel in flight to Atlanta, because that wouldn't be a scary thing to see that out your window. [Image via Twitter]

In Houdini news, here's a cat escaping his locked cage.

INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Navy Seals Continue to Be Boss
U.S. Navy Seals took over a rogue Libyan tanker yesterday. Afghani President Karzai railed against the U.S. military in one of his final addresses this weekend. North Korea fired off a bunch of rockets in order to prepare for "an invasion." Like to drive in Paris? Too bad, as new regulations are in place after a sudden onset of severe smog in the City of Love. And check out pictures of Holi, India's beautiful festival of colors.

In St. Patrick's Day news, here's a timelapse of the Chicago River being dyed green.

BUY! SELL! BUY! People More Certain, Or Something Like That
People are feeling less uncertain, which is good for the markets. We're still confused as to how they measure certainty, but good news! European stocks are on the up and up despite Ukranian worries. Food pantries are on the rise... at college campuses. Marissa Mayer's having a good week: China's internet juggernaut Alibaba announced it's going public. Yahoo holds a 24% stake in the company. Honda recalled almost a million Odyssey's (or Hodessies) because of a fire risk. And here are the 9 retailers closing the most stores this year.

In cheesecake news, here's a bunch we are salivating over.

SCOUTING REPORT: Bring on the Madness!
ARE YOU READYYYYYY TO RUMBLE?
It's March Madness time. Here's Huffington Post's go-to bracket maker, as well as ESPN's bracketology. When we grow up, we want to be bracketologists. Apparently March is the most popular time to get a vasectomy -- too many people lose too much money in their office pools and realize they can't support more kids. Don't be that guy. And in bad news bears news, Colts owner Jim Arsay was arrested for a DUI and possession last night (technically this morning, but semantics).

In winter weight news, here's a big bulldog having a hard time getting onto a chair.

CULTURE CATCH-UP: Oprah's Studio For Sale
Jenny McCarthy's anti-vaccination crusade got slammed on Twitter -- the public isn't putting up with the madness. "The Mentalist" is one of the 14 TV shows that are likely to be canceled. An animated talking dog movie beat a racing movie at the box office this weekend. "Veep" finally released a trailer for its third season. "Game of Thrones" and Madonna fans rejoice: Madge dressed up as the Mother of Dragons this weekend. Oprah's selling her studio, nobody is getting a car now. And Angelina Jolie actually blushed while talking about those pesky rumors about her directing "50 Shades of Grey."

In flashback news, here's why S Club 7 sums up everything about1999.

LIVIN': Shelter Dogs Are Where It's At
Because you're probably gonna have one today, here are some fun facts about Guinness. Wireless electricity no longer just exists in scifi novels. These photos of shelter dogs will have you adopting one in no time. Here are 10 St. Patrick's Day-themed treats -- because we need an excuse to indulge our sweettooth. Promised you'd give up sweets for Lent? Here are 22 healthy meals to chomp on for the week. The kale salads are Jesus-approved.

In stalking news, here are some BIG cats getting their creep on.

OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: Princess Decorating Woes
Even a princess has a hard time keeping a renovation budget in line -- looks like Kate Middleton's palace overhaul has gotten pricey (but here she is looking lovely at St. Patrick's day festivities!). Today show anchor Savannah Guthrie got married AND announced she was pregnant this weekend -- congrats! Drake and Rihanna are officially exclusive -- cue the inevitable music video where they're dancing in the rain in front of a giant fire. Jennifer Hudson is parting... wait for it... weighs with Weight Watchers (nailed it!). Lorde shot down engagement rumors -- REMEMBER SHE'S 17! Jamie Lynn Spears got hitched on Friday. Chris Pine pled guilty to drunk driving in New Zealand. Kat Dennings stood up for guest star Lindsay Lohan. Despite rumors, a prominent "Seinfeld" star is *not* dead. And check out all of Kerry Washington's fabulous pregnancy style.

In living-it-up news, here's a dog taking advantage of being left alone with his owner's bed.

TWITTERATI

@zachbraff: CNN is amazing at reporting all day on a story with no new facts. They just interviewed a seal who thinks he saw the plane.

@SteveMartinToGo: Temperature fluctuating wildly between 80 and 81 requires constant maintenence of ice cubes in tea. Tiresome.

@yokoono: Your wishes come true. So be careful what you wish for.

@samsteinhp: how does one become a bracketologist?

@rainnwilson: Hi. One thing you should know about me is I'm wearing black dress socks and vans.

ONE MORE THING
Here's why you should always go scuba diving with a spear -- so you can fend off shark attacks.

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