By Eliot Nelson
Happy Hump Day: Behold the Russian nesting doll of flavor that is the cookie-flavored cookie-flavored cookie. This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Wednesday, July 30, 2014:
The Scuttlebutt
TOP STORIES
MAJOR FBI ERRORS IN 16 DEATH PENALTY CASES
"Nearly every criminal case reviewed by the FBI and the Justice Department as part of a massive investigation started in 2012 of problems at the FBI lab has included flawed forensic testimony from the agency, government officials said. The findings troubled the bureau, and it stopped the review of convictions last August. Case reviews resumed this month at the order of the Justice Department, the officials said...The inquiry includes 2,600 convictions and 45 death-row cases from the 1980s and 1990s in which the FBI's hair and fiber unit reported a match to a crime-scene sample before DNA testing of hair became common. The FBI had reviewed about 160 cases before it stopped, officials said." [Washington Post]
ISRAELI ASSAULT ON GAZA ESCALATES
"Israel killed at least 19 Palestinians sheltering in a school in Gaza's biggest refugee camp on Wednesday, a U.N. official said, as Egyptian mediators prepared a revised proposal to try to halt more than three weeks of fighting. Some 3,000 Palestinians, including many women and children, were taking refuge in the building in Jebalya refugee camp when it came under fire around dawn, Khalil al-Halabi, director of northern Gaza operations for the United Nations Relief and Works Agency (UNRWA) said. 'There were five shells - Israeli tank shells - which struck the people and killed many of them as they slept. Those people came to the school because it a designated U.N. shelter,' he said." [Reuters]
FLIGHT 17 PROBE BLOCKED AGAIN
"International observers have turned back from another attempt to reach the site where Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 went down in eastern Ukraine. Observers from the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe set out in two vehicles without crash investigators from the Netherlands who have been trying to reach the site for several days...Safety concerns and hindrance from the separatists who control the area have kept the investigation team away." [CBS News]
STATESIDE: Drones... And That's A Good Thing
Eric Cantor is spending his final days in Congress keeping a low profile, and by low profile we mean not showing up for anything. Americans' support of racially profiling Muslims and Arabs has spiked. Martha Stewart didn't have to pen "Why I Love My Drone," but she did, and here it is. An NRA lobbyist compared gun control to the Holocaust, because the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a jerk without any perspective or common sense. And a woman pledged to become a vegan so PETA would pay her water bill.
In life news, this girl doesn't want her baby brother to grow up.
INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Al Qaeda Ransoms
European nations have spent millions in ransom payments to al Qaeda. Jarring photos of West Africa's worst-ever Ebola outbreak are tremendously upsetting. Looking back, 20 years later, at the Rwandan genocide and one trial that turned rape into a recognized war crime. Hugo Chavez's handwriting has been transformed into an "anti-imperialist font" -- we're calling it "socialist comic sans." An Australian flight attendant told passengers to flush their drugs, which is like putting their seatback in the upright position, but more exciting. And obtaining a driver's license in Japan isn't a quest in the "Answer me these riddles three!" sense, but navigating the country's dense bureaucracy is a journey nonetheless.
In omg omg omg news, here's a compilation of kittens learning how to walk.
BUY! SELL! BUY! Don't Buy For Me, Argentina
Argentina -- the country who just needs to borrow a couple grand because that Learning Annex class will really help its t-shirt business take off -- is nearing a bond default. The NLRB ruled that meat sandwich purveyor McDonald's is liable for workers' rights violations at its franchise locations. Amazon will invest $2 billion in India, providing the world's second-largest country with much-needed doses of insecurity and procrastination. Mark Gongloff breaks down why everyone is mad at rich people, and it surprisingly has nothing to do with Vineyard Vines or people whose first name is Bennett. And Facebook is being sued for $123 million by a user who claims she was the victim of "revenge porn." [Image via ]
In birthday news, here's a panda turning two.
SCOUTING REPORT: Super Extreme Mistakes
Looking at Stephen A. Smith and the Ray Rice's domestic violence-related suspensions is like staring at history's most upsetting Escher drawing -- it's terrible no matter how you look at it. The mother of Seattle Seahawk Marshawn Lynch -- the fabulously named Sunshine Lynch -- dropped some grade-A, ALL-CAPS hate on her son's detractors. Last night's Cubs-Rockies game was both teams' longest-ever, which is incredible considering the Cubs have been playing since roughly 523 B.C. Vin Scully announced he will continue announcing Dodgers games next year -- it will be his 66th season. Phoenix Suns' P.J. Tucker was charged -- for real -- with a "super extreme DUI," for which we suspect he'll be put on double secret probation. Oh, and here's an explainer on what exactly a super extreme DUI is.
In defeat news, here's a cat giving up.
CULTURE CATCH-UP: I-G-G-Why?
Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga are recording an album in what will be, respectively the lowest and highest points in their careers. Sacre bleuuuuwwwwwww! This supercut of Alex Trebek overpronouncing foreign words will remind you not to take the "Jeopardy!" host to a tapas restaurant. Hector Janse van Rensburg -- henceforth known as history's greatest artist -- took 50 Facebook profile photos and transformed them into portraits of sloths. Iggy Azalea will have a role in "Fast & Furious 7;" she and composite Paul Walker will undoubtedly have some SCORCHING chemistry. The supercut of Samuel L. Jackson saying "motherf*cker" is NSFW as it features Samuel L. Jackson saying "motherf*cker." And Lady Edith from "Downton Abbey" -- the PBS hit's own Milhouse -- will suffer an even more tortured existence next season, according to co-star Michelle Dockery. [Image via Bored Panda]
In cornucopia news, a scientist created a tree that grows 40 different kinds of fruit.
LIVIN': McTofu
Japanese McDonald's are debuting a tofu McNugget, which contains about just as much meat as a regular McNugget. Behold these vacation rental resources that will upgrade your vacation fromtrying not to focus on the starfished-shaped stain on your friend's futon *drab* to Instagraming your accommodations like a total douche *fab*. Here are the best ice cream shops in America, exacerbating our obesity epidemic, one smile at a time. Thirty-three couples got hitched at a Denny's in Las Vegas... because the Bennigan's was booked? And because floors aren't just showcases for dust, old magazines and extension cords, here's some advice on how to spruce them up on the cheap.
In petard-hoisting news, here's a fish stealing a fisherman's bait and gun.
OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: Bieber Has Face Problems
Justin Bieber's new facial hair belongs in an early '90s Mustang cruising down the most strip club-laden avenue Orlando has to offer. Maybe Bieber's terrible facial hair *face grass* is why he almost got into a fight with Orlando Bloom. A teen's Instagram feed features spot-on imitations of Kim Kardashian, Taylor Swift and others. Those photos of Leonardo DiCaprio cavorting about with a super soaker have easily supplanted all previous Leonardo DiCaprio memes. And the video of DMX on a slingshot ride -- presumably the ride is named "Stop! Drop!" -- is priceless.
TWITTERATI
@StephenAtHome: Obama and the EU have issued new sanctions against Russia. Or as it's being reported in Russia: "Putin Punches Crocodile."
@History_Pics: Imperial crown of Napoleon I Bonaparte, 19th century.
@mattkoff: in china, is "fruit on the bottom" considered "fruit on the top"?
@albz: The basket on my dinner table is a place where fruit dies peacefully and with dignity.
@NirajC: New York has a new disability symbol wapo.st/1rYrV1E
ONE MORE THING
Here's a list of the highest calorie chain restaurant meals.
Got something to add? Send tips/quips/quotes/stories/photos/events/scoops to Lauren Weber (lauren.weber@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter (@LaurenWeberHP). Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here.
The Scuttlebutt
- More of Rupert Murdoch's editors charged in phone hacking scandal
- Photos of burst water main submerging most of UCLA's campus
- Sharknado 2 airs tonight
TOP STORIES
MAJOR FBI ERRORS IN 16 DEATH PENALTY CASES
"Nearly every criminal case reviewed by the FBI and the Justice Department as part of a massive investigation started in 2012 of problems at the FBI lab has included flawed forensic testimony from the agency, government officials said. The findings troubled the bureau, and it stopped the review of convictions last August. Case reviews resumed this month at the order of the Justice Department, the officials said...The inquiry includes 2,600 convictions and 45 death-row cases from the 1980s and 1990s in which the FBI's hair and fiber unit reported a match to a crime-scene sample before DNA testing of hair became common. The FBI had reviewed about 160 cases before it stopped, officials said." [Washington Post]
ISRAELI ASSAULT ON GAZA ESCALATES
"Israel killed at least 19 Palestinians sheltering in a school in Gaza's biggest refugee camp on Wednesday, a U.N. official said, as Egyptian mediators prepared a revised proposal to try to halt more than three weeks of fighting. Some 3,000 Palestinians, including many women and children, were taking refuge in the building in Jebalya refugee camp when it came under fire around dawn, Khalil al-Halabi, director of northern Gaza operations for the United Nations Relief and Works Agency (UNRWA) said. 'There were five shells - Israeli tank shells - which struck the people and killed many of them as they slept. Those people came to the school because it a designated U.N. shelter,' he said." [Reuters]
FLIGHT 17 PROBE BLOCKED AGAIN
"International observers have turned back from another attempt to reach the site where Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 went down in eastern Ukraine. Observers from the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe set out in two vehicles without crash investigators from the Netherlands who have been trying to reach the site for several days...Safety concerns and hindrance from the separatists who control the area have kept the investigation team away." [CBS News]
STATESIDE: Drones... And That's A Good Thing
Eric Cantor is spending his final days in Congress keeping a low profile, and by low profile we mean not showing up for anything. Americans' support of racially profiling Muslims and Arabs has spiked. Martha Stewart didn't have to pen "Why I Love My Drone," but she did, and here it is. An NRA lobbyist compared gun control to the Holocaust, because the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a jerk without any perspective or common sense. And a woman pledged to become a vegan so PETA would pay her water bill.
In life news, this girl doesn't want her baby brother to grow up.
INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Al Qaeda Ransoms
European nations have spent millions in ransom payments to al Qaeda. Jarring photos of West Africa's worst-ever Ebola outbreak are tremendously upsetting. Looking back, 20 years later, at the Rwandan genocide and one trial that turned rape into a recognized war crime. Hugo Chavez's handwriting has been transformed into an "anti-imperialist font" -- we're calling it "socialist comic sans." An Australian flight attendant told passengers to flush their drugs, which is like putting their seatback in the upright position, but more exciting. And obtaining a driver's license in Japan isn't a quest in the "Answer me these riddles three!" sense, but navigating the country's dense bureaucracy is a journey nonetheless.
In omg omg omg news, here's a compilation of kittens learning how to walk.
BUY! SELL! BUY! Don't Buy For Me, Argentina
Argentina -- the country who just needs to borrow a couple grand because that Learning Annex class will really help its t-shirt business take off -- is nearing a bond default. The NLRB ruled that meat sandwich purveyor McDonald's is liable for workers' rights violations at its franchise locations. Amazon will invest $2 billion in India, providing the world's second-largest country with much-needed doses of insecurity and procrastination. Mark Gongloff breaks down why everyone is mad at rich people, and it surprisingly has nothing to do with Vineyard Vines or people whose first name is Bennett. And Facebook is being sued for $123 million by a user who claims she was the victim of "revenge porn." [Image via ] In birthday news, here's a panda turning two.
SCOUTING REPORT: Super Extreme Mistakes
Looking at Stephen A. Smith and the Ray Rice's domestic violence-related suspensions is like staring at history's most upsetting Escher drawing -- it's terrible no matter how you look at it. The mother of Seattle Seahawk Marshawn Lynch -- the fabulously named Sunshine Lynch -- dropped some grade-A, ALL-CAPS hate on her son's detractors. Last night's Cubs-Rockies game was both teams' longest-ever, which is incredible considering the Cubs have been playing since roughly 523 B.C. Vin Scully announced he will continue announcing Dodgers games next year -- it will be his 66th season. Phoenix Suns' P.J. Tucker was charged -- for real -- with a "super extreme DUI," for which we suspect he'll be put on double secret probation. Oh, and here's an explainer on what exactly a super extreme DUI is.
In defeat news, here's a cat giving up.
CULTURE CATCH-UP: I-G-G-Why?
Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga are recording an album in what will be, respectively the lowest and highest points in their careers. Sacre bleuuuuwwwwwww! This supercut of Alex Trebek overpronouncing foreign words will remind you not to take the "Jeopardy!" host to a tapas restaurant. Hector Janse van Rensburg -- henceforth known as history's greatest artist -- took 50 Facebook profile photos and transformed them into portraits of sloths. Iggy Azalea will have a role in "Fast & Furious 7;" she and composite Paul Walker will undoubtedly have some SCORCHING chemistry. The supercut of Samuel L. Jackson saying "motherf*cker" is NSFW as it features Samuel L. Jackson saying "motherf*cker." And Lady Edith from "Downton Abbey" -- the PBS hit's own Milhouse -- will suffer an even more tortured existence next season, according to co-star Michelle Dockery. [Image via Bored Panda]In cornucopia news, a scientist created a tree that grows 40 different kinds of fruit.
LIVIN': McTofu
Japanese McDonald's are debuting a tofu McNugget, which contains about just as much meat as a regular McNugget. Behold these vacation rental resources that will upgrade your vacation from
In petard-hoisting news, here's a fish stealing a fisherman's bait and gun.
OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: Bieber Has Face Problems
Justin Bieber's new facial hair belongs in an early '90s Mustang cruising down the most strip club-laden avenue Orlando has to offer. Maybe Bieber's terrible TWITTERATI
@StephenAtHome: Obama and the EU have issued new sanctions against Russia. Or as it's being reported in Russia: "Putin Punches Crocodile."
@History_Pics: Imperial crown of Napoleon I Bonaparte, 19th century.
@mattkoff: in china, is "fruit on the bottom" considered "fruit on the top"?
@albz: The basket on my dinner table is a place where fruit dies peacefully and with dignity.
@NirajC: New York has a new disability symbol wapo.st/1rYrV1E
ONE MORE THING
Here's a list of the highest calorie chain restaurant meals.
Got something to add? Send tips/quips/quotes/stories/photos/events/scoops to Lauren Weber (lauren.weber@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter (@LaurenWeberHP). Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here.
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