By Eliot Nelson and Arthur Delaney
Still two days left in the work week, so make life less terrible with these kittens learning to walk. This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Thursday, July 31, 2014:
The Scuttlebutt
TOP STORIES
GOP MOVING TO INCREASE DEPORTATIONS OF MINORS
"The new plan, described by multiple GOP aides Wednesday evening, comes as House Republicans were unable to lock up 218 GOP lawmakers to vote for the $659 million emergency funding package. On Wednesday evening, House GOP leadership was setting up a process that would schedule a Thursday vote on the Republican funding package. If it passes, the House would be required to vote on legislation targeting the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, which has shielded from deportation hundreds of thousands of young undocumented immigrants who have grown up in the United States. The House GOP language would block President Barack Obama from expanding DACA and prevent him from granting a similar reprieve to other immigrants here illegally. The administration is actively considering executive action on deportations, and a final decision is expected by the end of the summer." [Politico]
ISRAEL CALLS UP ANOTHER 16,000 SOLDIERS
"Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Thursday that Israel will destroy the Hamas tunnel network in the Gaza Strip 'with or without a cease-fire,' as the military called up another 16,000 reservists to pursue its campaign in the densely-populated territory. Netanyahu's vow came as international efforts to end the 23-day-old conflict seemed to sputter despite concern over the mounting death toll, with more than 1,300 Palestinians, mostly civilians, and more than 50 Israelis, almost all of them soldiers, killed since July 8...Speaking on condition of anonymity because he was not permitted to discuss the matter with the press, an Israeli defense official said the purpose of the latest call-up was to provide relief for troops currently on the Gaza firing line. However, Israeli officials have also said they do not rule out broadening operations in the coming days." [AP]
ARGENTINA DEFAULTS ON DEBT
"The collapse of talks with U.S. creditors sent Argentina into its second debt default in 13 years and raised questions about what comes next for financial markets and the South American nation's staggering economy. A midnight Wednesday deadline to reach a deal with holdout bondholders came and went with Argentine Economy Minister Axel Kicillof holding firm to his government's position that it could not accept a deal with U.S. hedge fund creditors it dismisses as 'vultures.' Kicillof said the funds refused a compromise offer in talks that ended several hours earlier, although he gave no details of that proposal...But court-appointed mediator Daniel Pollack said a default could hurt bondholders who were not part of the dispute as well as the Argentine economy, which is suffering through a recession, a shortage of dollars and one of the world's highest inflation rates...The holdouts, led by New York billionaire Paul Singer's NML Capital Ltd., spent more than a decade litigating for payment in full rather than agreeing to provide Argentina with debt relief. They also sent lawyers around the globe trying to force Argentina to pay its defaulted debts and were able to get a court in Ghana to temporarily seize an Argentine naval training ship. The threat of seizures forced Fernandez to stop using her presidential plane and instead fly on private jets." [AP]
STATESIDE: 'Frightening' Candidate
Because Republicans love nothing more than a frivolous lawsuit, the House voted to authorize John Boehner to sue President Obama for inadequate enforcement of the Affordable Care Act. A veteran political analyst was so baffled by a Republican House candidate's behavior during an interview he called her "frightening." Satanists are using the Hobby Lobby ruling to advance their political agenda -- the HAIL SATAN For America PAC can't be far off. George W. Bush will publish a book about his father. Can Chris Christie mount a 2016 comeback after bridgegate? Bakers in Oregon who drew ire for refusing to serve a gay couple are now serving ex-gay cupcakes. New York City lawmakers want to ban buildings that have separate entrances for tenants with rent control.
In confrontation news, here are some dogs who are bullied by cats.
INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE:
History repeating itself repeating itself: Fighting in Libya is endangering Western attempts to build a democracy there. The U.S. and E.U. released details of new sanctions against Russia. Ivory chopsticks may cause African elephants to go extinct by 2020. An uncontacted tribe in Brazil emerged from a rainforest after its members claimed they were shot at. The Times looks at a Florida man who ended up becoming a suicide bomber in Syria.
In beep boop beep news, watch a robot "walk off" an injury.
BUY! SELL! BUY!
Analysts at Everyday low profits: Goldman Sachs are predicting the demise of Walmart and Target. Snapchat, which has yet to make any meaningful money, is being valued at $10 billion. Adidas' stock tanked due to its involvement in Russia. The world's wealthiest hedge fund managers and traders probably made more money watching "Sharknado 2" than we will in the next 40 years. And Pinterest acquired Icebergs, which is described as "Pinterest for Creatives," which is such a fantastically subtle put down of people who share photos of chevron patterned tablecloths.
In cheeeeeeeese news, here are photo booth portraits from the early-to-mid 20th Century.
SCOUTING REPORT:
A "Grassroots" website supporting the Washington Redskins' name is actually run by a PR firm with possible ties to the franchise -- we still think they should be rechristened the Washington Department of Football. A Grantland writer spent two days at NBA scout school. The Pittsburgh Pirates put on a master class in what not to do with the bases loaded. And around 20 people stormed the pitch during a Real Madrid-Roma match in Dallas, at least one of whom took a selfie with a player.
In royalty news, here's a pit bull dressed as a princess.
CULTURE CATCH-UP:
The latest trailer for Christopher Nolan's "Interstellar" makes the "Contact"-meets-"Grapes of Wrath" pitch make sense (enter "7201969" in the code prompt to view it). Add some gravity to your commute with James Earl Jones' reading of "The Raven." A rundown of the best tweets about "Sharknado 2" last night. The "Dumb Starbucks" episode of "Nathan for You" is now online in all its entirety. Episodes of "Seinfeld," "Friends" and "The Big Bang Theory" stripped entirely of jokes is what we imagine television in North Korea to be like. The video for Lana Del Rey's "Ultraviolence" is the platonic ideal of Lana Del Ray.
In pug news, here's paranormal pugtivity.
LIVIN': Android Apps for Days
This Apple mod that turns a MacBook Pro into a tablet will make you the most disrupt-y disrupter in your Bay Area neighborhood. A World War Two veteran who transitioned to living as a woman scored a major legal victory for transgender couples. Samsung will release a non-plastic phone this year. Here's a scientific reason why sleeping in makes you more tired. Amazon is giving away 30 Android apps -- that means "for free" -- today.
In breaking news, here's a dog who stops in a most unusual way.
OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: Congrats To The Beatzes
An ex-aide to Queen Elizabeth's husband has been charged with sexually assaulting a girl in the 1970s. Vin Diesel performed a cover of Sam Smith's "Stay With Me." A man alleged to have stalked Robin Roberts was arrested in New York -- as if she hasn't had enough problems. Alicia Keys and husband Swizz Beatz are expecting their second child, who hopefully will take the hyphenated last name Keys-Beatz. On that note, Katy Perry said she doesn't "need a dude" to have babies... sorry, dudes.
TWITTERATI
@tinatbh: I'm honestly the best person you ever meet. I'm amazing. My future husband doesn't even deserve me. I already want a divorce.
@badbanana: My career goal is to get suspended with pay.
@dubouchet: Interstellar 2: We've Ruined That Planet Too, Time For Another Planet!
@CuteEmergency: White Tiger cub
ONE MORE THING
If chicken wing s'mores aren't a sign of end times, we don't know what is.
Got something to add? Send tips/quips/quotes/stories/photos/events/scoops to Lauren Weber (lauren.weber@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter (@LaurenWeberHP). Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here.
The Scuttlebutt
- GOP looking to deport a lot of kids
- Snapchat's humongous valuation: fleeting naked selfies are worth quite a bit
- "Sharknado 2" prompts hilarious Twitter freakout
TOP STORIES
GOP MOVING TO INCREASE DEPORTATIONS OF MINORS
"The new plan, described by multiple GOP aides Wednesday evening, comes as House Republicans were unable to lock up 218 GOP lawmakers to vote for the $659 million emergency funding package. On Wednesday evening, House GOP leadership was setting up a process that would schedule a Thursday vote on the Republican funding package. If it passes, the House would be required to vote on legislation targeting the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, which has shielded from deportation hundreds of thousands of young undocumented immigrants who have grown up in the United States. The House GOP language would block President Barack Obama from expanding DACA and prevent him from granting a similar reprieve to other immigrants here illegally. The administration is actively considering executive action on deportations, and a final decision is expected by the end of the summer." [Politico]
ISRAEL CALLS UP ANOTHER 16,000 SOLDIERS
"Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Thursday that Israel will destroy the Hamas tunnel network in the Gaza Strip 'with or without a cease-fire,' as the military called up another 16,000 reservists to pursue its campaign in the densely-populated territory. Netanyahu's vow came as international efforts to end the 23-day-old conflict seemed to sputter despite concern over the mounting death toll, with more than 1,300 Palestinians, mostly civilians, and more than 50 Israelis, almost all of them soldiers, killed since July 8...Speaking on condition of anonymity because he was not permitted to discuss the matter with the press, an Israeli defense official said the purpose of the latest call-up was to provide relief for troops currently on the Gaza firing line. However, Israeli officials have also said they do not rule out broadening operations in the coming days." [AP]
ARGENTINA DEFAULTS ON DEBT
"The collapse of talks with U.S. creditors sent Argentina into its second debt default in 13 years and raised questions about what comes next for financial markets and the South American nation's staggering economy. A midnight Wednesday deadline to reach a deal with holdout bondholders came and went with Argentine Economy Minister Axel Kicillof holding firm to his government's position that it could not accept a deal with U.S. hedge fund creditors it dismisses as 'vultures.' Kicillof said the funds refused a compromise offer in talks that ended several hours earlier, although he gave no details of that proposal...But court-appointed mediator Daniel Pollack said a default could hurt bondholders who were not part of the dispute as well as the Argentine economy, which is suffering through a recession, a shortage of dollars and one of the world's highest inflation rates...The holdouts, led by New York billionaire Paul Singer's NML Capital Ltd., spent more than a decade litigating for payment in full rather than agreeing to provide Argentina with debt relief. They also sent lawyers around the globe trying to force Argentina to pay its defaulted debts and were able to get a court in Ghana to temporarily seize an Argentine naval training ship. The threat of seizures forced Fernandez to stop using her presidential plane and instead fly on private jets." [AP]
STATESIDE: 'Frightening' Candidate
Because Republicans love nothing more than a frivolous lawsuit, the House voted to authorize John Boehner to sue President Obama for inadequate enforcement of the Affordable Care Act. A veteran political analyst was so baffled by a Republican House candidate's behavior during an interview he called her "frightening." Satanists are using the Hobby Lobby ruling to advance their political agenda -- the HAIL SATAN For America PAC can't be far off. George W. Bush will publish a book about his father. Can Chris Christie mount a 2016 comeback after bridgegate? Bakers in Oregon who drew ire for refusing to serve a gay couple are now serving ex-gay cupcakes. New York City lawmakers want to ban buildings that have separate entrances for tenants with rent control. In confrontation news, here are some dogs who are bullied by cats.
INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE:
History repeating itself repeating itself: Fighting in Libya is endangering Western attempts to build a democracy there. The U.S. and E.U. released details of new sanctions against Russia. Ivory chopsticks may cause African elephants to go extinct by 2020. An uncontacted tribe in Brazil emerged from a rainforest after its members claimed they were shot at. The Times looks at a Florida man who ended up becoming a suicide bomber in Syria.
In beep boop beep news, watch a robot "walk off" an injury.
BUY! SELL! BUY!
Analysts at Everyday low profits: Goldman Sachs are predicting the demise of Walmart and Target. Snapchat, which has yet to make any meaningful money, is being valued at $10 billion. Adidas' stock tanked due to its involvement in Russia. The world's wealthiest hedge fund managers and traders probably made more money watching "Sharknado 2" than we will in the next 40 years. And Pinterest acquired Icebergs, which is described as "Pinterest for Creatives," which is such a fantastically subtle put down of people who share photos of chevron patterned tablecloths.
In cheeeeeeeese news, here are photo booth portraits from the early-to-mid 20th Century.
SCOUTING REPORT:
A "Grassroots" website supporting the Washington Redskins' name is actually run by a PR firm with possible ties to the franchise -- we still think they should be rechristened the Washington Department of Football. A Grantland writer spent two days at NBA scout school. The Pittsburgh Pirates put on a master class in what not to do with the bases loaded. And around 20 people stormed the pitch during a Real Madrid-Roma match in Dallas, at least one of whom took a selfie with a player. In royalty news, here's a pit bull dressed as a princess.
CULTURE CATCH-UP:
The latest trailer for Christopher Nolan's "Interstellar" makes the "Contact"-meets-"Grapes of Wrath" pitch make sense (enter "7201969" in the code prompt to view it). Add some gravity to your commute with James Earl Jones' reading of "The Raven." A rundown of the best tweets about "Sharknado 2" last night. The "Dumb Starbucks" episode of "Nathan for You" is now online in all its entirety. Episodes of "Seinfeld," "Friends" and "The Big Bang Theory" stripped entirely of jokes is what we imagine television in North Korea to be like. The video for Lana Del Rey's "Ultraviolence" is the platonic ideal of Lana Del Ray.
In pug news, here's paranormal pugtivity.
LIVIN': Android Apps for Days
This Apple mod that turns a MacBook Pro into a tablet will make you the most disrupt-y disrupter in your Bay Area neighborhood. A World War Two veteran who transitioned to living as a woman scored a major legal victory for transgender couples. Samsung will release a non-plastic phone this year. Here's a scientific reason why sleeping in makes you more tired. Amazon is giving away 30 Android apps -- that means "for free" -- today. In breaking news, here's a dog who stops in a most unusual way.
OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: Congrats To The Beatzes
An ex-aide to Queen Elizabeth's husband has been charged with sexually assaulting a girl in the 1970s. Vin Diesel performed a cover of Sam Smith's "Stay With Me." A man alleged to have stalked Robin Roberts was arrested in New York -- as if she hasn't had enough problems. Alicia Keys and husband Swizz Beatz are expecting their second child, who hopefully will take the hyphenated last name Keys-Beatz. On that note, Katy Perry said she doesn't "need a dude" to have babies... sorry, dudes.
TWITTERATI
@tinatbh: I'm honestly the best person you ever meet. I'm amazing. My future husband doesn't even deserve me. I already want a divorce.
@badbanana: My career goal is to get suspended with pay.
@dubouchet: Interstellar 2: We've Ruined That Planet Too, Time For Another Planet!
@CuteEmergency: White Tiger cub
ONE MORE THING
If chicken wing s'mores aren't a sign of end times, we don't know what is.
Got something to add? Send tips/quips/quotes/stories/photos/events/scoops to Lauren Weber (lauren.weber@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter (@LaurenWeberHP). Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here.
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