| No Images? Click here   This week, HuffPost's Jesselyn Cook published a four-part series on men who call themselves “incels,” or “involuntary celibates.” One thing she discovered was their obsession with “looksmaxing,” or making themselves as physically attractive as possible, often by taking extreme measures. We asked her about her story.How did this story come about? I started looking into misogynist groups online after I was targeted by one myself. I wanted to know more about how platform companies are handling the violent misogyny they host and amplify, and what fuels this toxic resentment of women. Once I started researching incel forums, I was surprised to see how many men seem to blame their misery and loneliness exclusively on “lookism” — discrimination against unattractive people. They believe “looksmaxing” is the only solution, and it often becomes an obsession. What was the hardest thing about reporting, writing or editing the piece? At times it was difficult to check my sympathy while writing about these men. As the article explains, lookism is a real form of prejudice, and many incels appear to suffer from depression and body dysmorphia. There are many factors at play here, but it’s important to keep things in perspective: Women have been dealing with the pressure to look perfect for centuries. They don’t create forums to talk about raping and killing men, or go on vengeful killing sprees. What did you find that was most surprising? I was disturbed to discover just how poisonous these forums are. The fatalistic, hypercritical attitudes expressed on Lookism.net seem to take a brutal toll on members. I spoke to one man who told me that after joining the group, he reached a point where he “wanted to die every single day” and “couldn’t even bear looking into a mirror.” When I asked him why he thought he was ugly, he recited a precise list of flaws without hesitation: “I have very weak infraorbitals and weak lateral orbital rims, as well as a recessed upper maxilla [and] my chin is a bit recessed, and my mandible is a bit weak itself.” At 5’11, he also considers himself to be too short. How closely do the looksmaxing and incel communities overlap? Are there looksmaxers who aren't incels? Is there social science on why men and women tend to respond differently to rejection? What's your guess? There are “looksmaxers” who don’t identify as incels, but there’s definitely a strong overlap. Many incels say women’s “lookist” discrimination is what drives them into looksmaxing. Both groups are rife with violent misogyny and “aggrieved entitlement,” a term I learned from sociologist Michael Kimmel. In his book, “Guyland,” he observes that while “feminists and the legal system see male aggression as the initiation of violence, guys describe it not as initiation but as retaliation.” In the eyes of radical incels who want to “strike back” at women who reject them, being denied sex and affection is an emasculating injustice. Men and women have also been socialized into passive/aggressive roles for centuries. Women were historically valued by society as forgiving caregivers while men attained value as providers and warriors. What do you want readers to take away from this piece (and series)? It’s important to recognize that incel forums are distinctly dangerous, and to take a critical look at the platforms and tech companies that sustain them. But I think there’s also room for more discussion about why men and boys as young as 14 years old join these groups in the first place (and more importantly, how they can get out). As feminist writer Jessica Valenti said in an op-ed for The New York Times this week, most young men “are not seeking [incel] spaces out because they inherently hate women or think they are inferior. They seek them out because they are desperate for community and answers in a confusing time of their lives.” Love, |
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