Friday's Morning Email: The Clippers Have A New Owner

The Morning Email
Whether it's a night out for drinks or a night in with a microwaveable burrito and glass of Rex Goliath, this map of your neighborhood's bars and grocery stores will up your TGIF levels. This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Friday, May 30, 2014.

The Scuttlebutt

TOP STORIES

CLIPPERS SOLD FOR 2 BILLION TO...
"The sale of the Clippers continued on its bizarre journey late Thursday night when representatives of co-owner Shelly Sterling sent out a media release that the Sterling family trust has agreed to sell the team to former Microsoft Chief Executive Steve Ballmer for $2 billion." Are the Clippers worth that much money? And here's all you need to know about Steve Ballmer. [LA Times]

AMERICAN JIHADIST INVOLVED IN SYRIAN SUICIDE BOMBING
"More than 70 Americans are thought by intelligence and counterterrorism officials to have traveled to Syria to fight the government of President Bashar al-Assad. One of them, still publicly unidentified, carried out a suicide bombing there on Sunday, making him the first United States citizen believed to have been involved in such an attack." The suicide bomber grew up in Florida. [NYT]

HILLARY CLINTON'S MEMOIR DEDICATES CHAPTER TO BENGHAZI
She writes, "I will not be a part of a political slugfest on the backs of dead Americans. It's just plain wrong, and it's unworthy of our great country. Those who insist on politicizing the tragedy will have to do so without me." Here's what the 34-page chapter will cover. [Politico]

STATESIDE: Bars vs. Grocery Stores
Check out this map to see if you live by more bars or grocery stores. Measles has reached a record high in the U.S. since it was first eradicated. Doctor shortages at the VA might be to blame for hospital delays. It's always good when you're on a skydeck on top of the Willis Tower and the floor starts cracking. The House told the DEA to leave legal medical marijuana operations alone. We're looking at a "below average" hurricane season. This slideshow shows how you can make a Wisconsin dairy environmentally friendly. [Image via Concourse]

In cuddly news, this diver cozies up to sharks.

INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Oil Pipeline Devastation
These photos of Canada's oil pipeline might make you think twice about Keystone XL. Two teenage girls were allegedly gang-raped and hanged in India. Take a look at the difference between North and South Korea through this photo series. The Wall Street Journal alleges that Chinese hacking is even more rampant than previously thought. Most Russian troops have withdrawn from the Ukrainian border. And here's where the search for the kidnapped Nigerian girls went wrong.

In crazy tongue news, check out this pug who just wants to be Miley Cyrus.

BUY! SELL! BUY! Fly Me To The Moon
Elon Musk unveild SpaceX's first spacecraft that can get astronauts into space and back. Here are five things you need to know about the growth of factory jobs in the U.S. GMO label legislation failed in California again. And you should read Thomas Piketty's scathing response to the Financial Times' allegations of skewed data.

In patriotic news, watch this cat observing Russia's national anthem.

SCOUTING REPORT: 'Group of Death'
Grantland breaks down what the U.S. is facing in the World Cup's "group of death." Here's why Peyton Manning has been carrying around a green football. You won't believe how the Scripps National Spelling Bee ended. And Wonkblog empirically proved 50 Cent's ceremonial first pitch was the worst.one.ever.

In it's the little things news, you won't believe why this mom is jumping up and down.

CULTURE CATCH-UP: Getting Tyrion Drunk
Vulture invented an old-school "Game of Thrones" computer game where you try to get Tyrion drunk -- and yes, we just spent an hour playing it. This "Sin City 2" movie poster was banned for being "too sexy." Bryan Cranston fanned the "Breaking Bad" movie flames. It breaks our hearts to read the theory about the backstory of Andy's Dad from "Toy Story." Granted, we're the saps who cried for pretty much the entire second half of "Toy Story 3," so we're a bit susceptible. And see if you can spot the typo on the frontpage of The New York Times.

In shady news, these shadows are tremendously creepy.

LIVIN': Healthy Eating Choices
Here's how to avoid not being able to button your jeans after eating out. Are you a cynic? You could be ruining your health along with everyone's happiness. You need to know what "secondary drowning" is before you let your kids swim unsupervised. Check out why you don't need to fix everyone's problems. This is how you accessorize that little white dress. And make your Ikea pieces look like you paid a million bucks for 'em.

In "Free Willy" news, check out this whale's jump.

OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: Channing and Puppies
This is a short film of Channing Tatum playing with puppies that will undoubtedly cause the internet to explode. Brett Michaels had a medical emergency on stage. Get well soon! Uma Thurman and Quentin Tarantino are an item. Guess which Instagram photo took the lead for most liked? Hilary Duff's haircut is beyond adorable. Kate Middleton looked like a champ at her first public event after the "bare bum" scandal.

In bookworm news, here are the world's best reading spots.

TWITTERATI

@hilariabaldwin: If tweeting about how damaging negativity and bullying are is "ranting" then I want to rant every day of my life

@miatramz: See how Robert Capa's iconic D-Day photos were almost lost forever http://time.com/120751/robert-capa-dday-photos/ @TIMEWorld @MagnumPhotos


@jimmykimmel: I'm glad we don't have to make our own scissors

@DonnieWahlberg: One week... BOAT!

@RJSzczerba: Just another Alpaca surfing in Peru pic.twitter.com/J219QHxfhw


ONE MORE THING
Guess who is statistically smarter, a cat or a dog person?

Got something to add? Send tips/quips/quotes/stories/photos/events/scoops to Lauren Weber (lauren.weber@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter (@LaurenWeberHP). Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here.


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Thursday's Morning Email: VA Scandal Worse Than Previously Thought

The Morning Email
Everyone can breathe a sigh of relief: we are no longer on the brink of a Sriracha apocolypse. This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Thursday, May 29, 2014.

The Scuttlebutt

TOP STORIES

EXECUTIVE ORDER TIME
"President Obama will use his executive authority to cut carbon emissions from the nation's coal-fired power plants by up to 20 percent, according to people familiar with his plans, and will force industry to pay for the pollution it creates through cap-and-trade programs across the country." And in case you weren't clear on how much carbon we give off, check out this animated map of the biggest greenhouse gas offenders. [NYT]

CALLS FOR VA HEAD TO RESIGN GROW
"A growing number of lawmakers are calling for Veterans Affairs Secretary Eric Shinseki's resignation following a report that found widespread problems of delayed treatment at a Phoenix, Arizona, veterans hospital." The report in question is damning. [HuffPost]

MISSING MALAYSIAN AIRLINES FLIGHT MH370 NOT IN SEARCH AREA
"The search area in the Indian Ocean that recovery teams have been scouring for more than a month is likely not the final resting place of a missing Malaysia Airlines jetliner, the Australian task force in charge of the operation said Thursday." So, what now? [NYT]

STATESIDE: Snowden and Dorothy Have a Lot in Common
Edward Snowden says he just wants to come home. John Kerry replied he'd be happy to accommodate that request. Literary giant Maya Angelou passed away at 86. Check out what the world had to say about her legacy. New York billed a homicide victim's family $12 million. A three-year-old fatally shot his toddler brother. And check out these five takeaways from Obama's West Point speech.

In everyone loves watermelon news, this husky puppy is chomping away.

INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Don't Work Here
These are the absolute worst countries to be a worker. Ukranian rebels shot down a military helicopter. A 998-ton oil tanker exploded off the coast of Japan. Egypt's former military chief was handily elected. Iranian hackers have been targeting U.S. officials. And take a look at Forbes' list of the 100 most powerful women in the world.

In strugglebus news, bamboo is getting the better of this baby panda.

BUY! SELL! BUY! Apple's Beats Buy Official
Apple officially announced its deal to purchase Beats, proving overpriced headphones are here to stay. Coca-Cola's latest gimmick is a bottle that can only be opened by another bottle. Fox News didn't have a great May. A Snapchat cofounder is "mortified" after his Stanford frat emails were released (he should be: they're pretty awful). You need to see Skype's new feature. There's pretty much no diversity at Google. And here's where you should retire to get the most bang for your buck.

In Wall-E news, this robot can stock shelves.

SCOUTING REPORT: Spelling Bee Finals
As the Scripps National Spelling Bee finals unfold today, take a look at the contest's most dramatic moments through the years. Grantland names Chris Bosh the epitome of a supporting actor. Goodbye Williams sisters, it was nice seeing you at the French Open for at least one round. And a Miami Dolphins scout says he was fired because he stayed home to care for his sick wife.

In contagious news, this baby's first laugh has his father in stiches.

CULTURE CATCH-UP: Don't Trash Talk Tom Cruise
You won't recognize Johnny Depp in his latest movie. "Reading Rainbow" is making a comeback! You have to watch Mindy Kaling's Harvard Law Class Day speech. Pretty much every Hollywood actor is in the trailer for "This Is Where I Leave You." Amy Poehler just released the book cover for her memoir. Actress Lacey Chabert shares her thoughts on her infamous character, Gretchen Weiner. And note to Hollywood actors: don't ever vow to not star in a movie with Tom Cruise. It'll come back to haunt you.

In game night news, this cat can play Jenga.

LIVIN': Yoga Can Solve Pretty Much Anything
Want to fall asleep? Wake up? Feel happy? Here are some yoga poses you should try. This is how you paint your nails so it doesn't look like a five-year-old did it. These snack swaps actually look pretty darn delicious. This video explains why bacon smells so very, very good. And you can buy Katharine Hepburn's house for 50% off, if you have $14 million in change lying around. A real bargain.

In singing animal news, these sheep will not put you to sleep.

OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: Gwyneth Puts Her Foot in Her Mouth
Gwyneth Paltrow compared internet trolls to being at war. Robert DeNiro talks about his dad's struggles with his sexuality. Patrick Swayze's widow has married. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's daughter Scout Willis posed topless to protest Instagram's nudity rules. Evan Rachel Wood and Jamie Bell have called it quits. And Brad Pitt got punched in the face on the red carpet last night.

In laughter news, here are the stand-up comedy specials you need to check out.

TWITTERATI

@ericstonestreet: Hey this @united flight I'm on without wifi! 2013 called and it wants it's plane back.

@TIME: The best emotional reactions in National Spelling Bee history. Photo by Alex Wong—@GettyImages http://time.com/134409/national-spelling-bee-photos/


@ryanpbroderick: hehe "beats by dre," but they're the vegetable, which is spelled b-e-e-t, instead of "beats," which references musical notations of rhythm.

@rihanna: I'd rather beee, smoking weeeed, everytime ya kiiiiss me, dooooon't say that you miiiiss me...

@BarackObama: "Nothing can dim the light which shines from within." —Maya Angelou


ONE MORE THING
Here's Alton Brown's explanation of how to tie a bowtie.

Got something to add? Send tips/quips/quotes/stories/photos/events/scoops to Lauren Weber (lauren.weber@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter (@LaurenWeberHP). Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here.


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