Wednesday's Morning Email: CEO Pay Off The Charts

The Morning Email
Looks like it's gonna be a rainy Wednesday for half the country, so obviously it's a great day to investigate the world's best pies. This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Wednesday, May 28, 2014.

The Scuttlebutt

TOP STORIES

TROOPS OUT OF AFGHANISTAN BY 2016
"Charting an end to America's longest war, President Barack Obama announced plans Tuesday for keeping nearly 10,000 U.S. troops in Afghanistan after this year but then withdrawing virtually all by the close of 2016 and the conclusion of his presidency." Obama is set to deliver the commencement address at West Point today and further elaborate on his military strategy. Previews of the speech hint at an "internationalist" bent. And this is how Americans' opinions of the war have changed over the years. [AP]

DETROIT UPDATE: BLIGHTED BLIGHT
"A task force convened by the Obama administration issued the most detailed study yet of blight in Detroit on Tuesday and recommended that the city spend at least $850 million to quickly tear down about 40,000 dilapidated buildings, demolish or restore tens of thousands more, and clear thousands of trash-packed lots." Take a look at the report itself, as well as this map breaking down the blight. [NYT]

WSJ: ANNUAL CEO PAY SURVEY
"For most CEOs at big companies, pay is rising moderately and awards are increasingly tied to future financial performance. But that doesn't apply to everybody. The Wall Street Journal's annual compensation survey found that, for all the debate around high CEO pay, the biggest rewards go to a relative handful of executives at the very top, and that their pay doesn't necessarily correlate to their company's size or results." Check out their graphic breakdown, and see how women CEOs' pay stacks up. [WSJ]

STATESIDE: Snowden Says He's A Spy
Eighty people died of gun violence in the week leading up to the latest mass shooting. Joe the Plumber issued an open letter stating "your dead kids don't trump my constitutional rights."
Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel has ordered a full-scale review of the military's health care. This Iraq vet was killed in a SWAT shootout after his local VA delayed his health care for over six months. The White House is launching an official probe after the leak of the top CIA official's name in Afghanistan. Edward Snowden basically called himself James Bond. This is what it looks like when you get struck by lightning. CNN takes a look at what's in store for the cities of tomorrow. And this six-year-old single-handedly stopped a kidnapping.

In musical talent news, check out these otters rocking out on a keyboard.

INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Priestly Celibacy Debate
A tragic fire at a hospital specializing in dementia and palsy care in South Korea killed 21 people. Next stop for Ukraine? Reclaiming its farming roots. The U.S. is contemplating installing a missile-defense system in South Korea. Watch the #yesallwomen hashtag spread worldwide. The State Department urged Americans in Libya to leave immediately. And it's a regular day for Pope Francis: casually implying that priestly celibacy could change.

In it never ends news, this dog cannot figure out this escalator.

BUY! SELL! BUY! Women Buy Beer, Heineken, We Promise
Keep your iPhone safe with this security fix. You have to check out Google's driverless car. Here's why it will "change everything." Urban Outfitters' own executives said the store is unfashionable. And Heineken's latest ad implies women don't drink beer and should go shoe shopping. Yikes.

In sibling rivarly news, check out these baby bear cubs going at it.

SCOUTING REPORT: First Pitch Fail
Shelly Sterling is looking to sell the Clippers by next Tuesday. You have to watch 50 Cent's ceremonial first pitch (if we can call it that). It'll make you feel better about your throwing arm. Those under 6'2" should put away their cleats: these professional sports height charts will dash your hopes of going pro. Grantland looks into the long-term pros and cons of benching a rookie QB. This Hoya crunches numbers for NBA players for a living, in the latest iteration of "Moneyball." Caroline Wozniacki's bad week tops pretty much all bad weeks: her fiance called off their engagement and she got upset in the French Open. Have a pint of Ben & Jerry's on us, girl. [Image via Complex]

In best job ever news, this woman watches baby panda cams all.day.long.

CULTURE CATCH-UP: Anna Wintour Called Out
OPA!!! "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" is getting a sequel. The casting details for the second season of "True Detective" have been announced. Now you see him, now you don't: Johnny Depp is in talks to star as Houdini. The Television Critics Association Awards nominees are in, and they pretty much justify our taste in TV. Booyah. This "Friends" star helped the NYPD solve a stabbing. You won't believe the ten things you didn't know about Disney (Goofy almost had his own Minnie). And Tom Ford says Rihanna's instagram account is more important than Vogue. Somewhere, Anna Wintour is plotting revenge.

In insta star news, you need to follow this baby pig.

LIVIN': Don't Lose It Over The Stapler
Here are the seven things you aren't thinking about while you're running that you should be. Work stress making you want to go all "Office Space?" Try these relaxation tips. One hit of hookah is a lot more dangerous than you think. And these things are all making you dehydrated. Drink up!

In brave dog news, this one just base-jumped.

OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: A Wedding at Downton?!?
Behold the official (and seriously fabulous) photos from the Kimye wedding. Gisele took it all off for Lui magazine. Jessica Simpson showed off her hard work in a fantastic swimsuit. And you'll never guess where George Clooney may be getting married.

In Bill Murray at a bachelor party news, this is what happens when he crashes.

TWITTERATI

@shanedawson: being overly sensitive is my downfall. also dipping sauces. dipping sauces are a HUGE downfall for me.

@stuartbrazell: Oh my goodness! Holy cuteness! pic.twitter.com/XqhL9NTSx8


@MelissaJoanHart: Wait!! They went on an Irish honeymoon after marrying in Italy? Um, really? #copycats #11yearsinJuly

@FilthyRichmond: I'll have a venti sausage gravy.

@HistoryInPics: Clint Eastwood pic.twitter.com/LfSx5mYzDk


ONE MORE THING
You've got to admire the dedication of these dancing babies.

Got something to add? Send tips/quips/quotes/stories/photos/events/scoops to Lauren Weber (lauren.weber@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter (@LaurenWeberHP). Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here.


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Tuesday's Morning Email: Chilling Details About California Killer

The Morning Email
Today kicks off the first day of the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Can you spell S-E-S-Q-U-I-P-E-D-A-L-I-A-N? This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Tuesday, May 27, 2014.

The Scuttlebutt

TOP STORIES

CALIFORNIA KILLER PLANNED ATTACK FOR YEARS
"Elliot Rodger, 22, stabbed to death three people in his apartment, shot two women to death outside a sorority house and killed another man inside a deli with gunfire before killing himself near the campus of the University of California, Santa Barbara, on Friday, investigators said." This Washington Post graphic traces the killer's deadly path. Excerpts from his disturbing manifesto suggest he was a very troubled man. Rodgers' family alerted authorities to Rodger's erratic behavior in April, but he managed to convince them he was not a threat. The killings have set off a renewed firestorm over gun control and the treatment of women. And here's why it's hard to predict the deadly intentions of mass murderers. [CNN]

DOZENS DIE IN UKRAINIAN AIRPORT BATTLE
"Forty people have been killed in the past day of fighting between Ukrainian forces and pro-Russian rebels in the eastern city of Donetsk, the mayor said on Tuesday, while a rebel put his side's losses at at least 29." The violence happened the day after President-elect Petro O. Poroshenko promised to restore order. [Reuters]

NIGERIAN OFFICIAL KNOWS WHERE KIDNAPPED GIRLS ARE
"Nigeria's military has located nearly 300 school girls abducted by Islamic extremists but fears using force to try to free them could get them killed, the country's chief of defense said Monday." This is what it's like to live where the girls were abducted. [AP]

STATESIDE: Crime Fighting, Sky High
Those with "antiquated" water rights in California have unregulated access to reserve water during drought season. Brain implants could be the next big thing. It's always good when the White House blows its own agent's cover. And you can call retrofitted Cessnas the new Batmobiles: the tricked out surveillance planes are now capable of detecting crime at 10,000-plus feet up.

In the parents actually filmed this news, this dog taught a baby how to get through the doggie door.

INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: European Populists Make Headway
Europe is shocked by a string of populist victories. Watch Japan's Prime Minister Shinzo Abe discuss his plans for the country. The U.S. military is training Africans to form their own "elite counterterrorism units." Data from Malaysian Airlines flight MH370 was finally released to the public. And Pope Francis says he will meet with sex abuse victims.

In move over news, this seal is determined to steal this man's park bench seat.

BUY! SELL! BUY! Bathroom Etiquette 101
Meet the original Gerber baby. iPhones are being hacked through the "Find My iPhone" app. A study commissioned by the American Beverage Association says diet soda helps you lose weight, which is about the equivalent of the sugar industry assuring you Ho Hos make you healthier. And here's everything you wanted to know but were too afraid to ask about workplace bathroom etiquette.

In best friends for life news, this goat refused to eat until he was reunited with his donkey buddy. Their reunion is a tearjerker.

SCOUTING REPORT: No-Hitter Fun
This MLB prospect's dad caught his son's first home run. Gisele and Neymar posed in another supermodel World Cup Vogue cover combo. This blind high school football player just got offered a spot on one of the nation's top teams. And there's nothing like watching the last out of a no-hitter. Congrats, Josh Beckett. [Image via Lockerdome]

In smart birds news, these swallows figured out how to work these automatic doors.

CULTURE CATCH-UP: Disney Channel Logo Switcheroo
Disney Channel changed their logo. You need to read Matt Zoller Seitz's "Mad Men" season finale recap. Love documentaries? Here are twelve to watch this week. Fleetwood Mac is making new music for the first time in 40 years, and we're not afraid that they've changed. And watching Snoop Dogg and Seth Rogen recap "Game of Thrones" is pretty much everything we could have ever hoped for and more.

In friends of a different feather news, watch a wolf and ferret play around.

LIVIN': Free Money in San Fran
This is how you motivate yourself into having a more productive workout. Somebody's leaving money around San Francisco. Don't let your dog get to these twelve killer foods. Here's why you should worry about your partner's self-control. These yogurts have more sugar than a TWINKIE. And here are eight ways to save more time.

In game of air news, this cat cannot get enough of this vent.

OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: Kimye Wedding
In all things Kimye-wedding related, take a look at photos of Kim's beautiful wedding dress, check out the guest list, find out who Kanye called "the most remarkable people of our time," and see all the absurd celebrity instas of the evening. Sofia Vergara and Nick Loeb have called it quits. "All of My Children" star Matthew Cowles was found dead at 69. And Emma Watson still manages to look cool in a cap and gown at Brown University's graduation.

In cats on capnip news, this stuff looks like the feline equivalent of speed.

TWITTERATI

@BromanConsul: the devil has a tape recorder containing the sounds you made when you sang aloud with a group but didn't actually know the words

@arunpudur: This is a ONE minute old baby elephant! pic.twitter.com/SxmQJXdDC6


@samantharonson: Twitter today- ME ME ME ME ME memorial day tweet ME ME ME ME ME ME

@petesouza: Slide show of the President's trip to Afghanistan: http://www.whitehouse.gov/photos-and-video/photogallery/president-barack-obama-visits-us-troops-afghanistan

@HistoricalPics: A soldier's wife hoists her son up to a train window for one last good-bye hug from his dad. 1940s. pic.twitter.com/2TtTjQCCci


ONE MORE THING
Break out the credit cards: you can shop these outlet stores online.

Got something to add? Send tips/quips/quotes/stories/photos/events/scoops to Lauren Weber (lauren.weber@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter (@LaurenWeberHP). Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here.






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