Wednesday's Morning Email: Authorities Zero In On Plane's Whereabouts

The
Authorities now think the Malaysian Airlines jetliner is in the Indian Ocean. Tired of all the speculation? Here are the four least-insane theories. This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Wednesday, March 19, 2014.

The Scuttlebutt

TOP STORIES

MISSING PLANE PROGRAMMED TO TURN BEFORE PILOT SIGNOFF
At least 12 minutes before the pilot's last communication with the ground, the missing Malaysian plane was programmed to make a direct u-turn. Meanwhile, the search area has been cut nearly in half. Authorities are attempting to recover deleted data off of one of the pilot's home flight simulator. And a theory about an inflight fire is sweeping the internet. [NBC]

PUTIN: JUST CRIMEA, THANKS
"After moving to annex Crimea, Russian President Vladimir Putin insists he has no intention of invading other regions in Ukraine, much less other nations." Here are some photos of what the region looked like before it became a geopolitical flashpoint. [AP]

ONE IN SIX WOMEN TO DEVELOP ALZHEIMERS
"Women are far more likely to develop the fatal disease than men: one in six women over 65 will get it during their lifetime, compared with one in 11 men." [USA Today]

STATESIDE: Moral Injury
HuffPost's David Wood takes a look at the underreported side of war: moral injury. The Washington Post is alleging the NSA has a system that can retroactively record phone calls. Yep, that means even your late night calls to exes. In 2016 speculation, some of Hillary Clinton's friends ("friends" a stretch here, considering) are raising concerns about her health. And the Pentagon review of the Navy Yard shooting shows glaring holes in the government's security procedures.

In espionage news, this parrot thinks he's a spy.

INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Syrian Silence
The U.S. is suspending all diplomatic relations with Syria. Iran resumed nuclear disarmament talks. More than 1,000 students occupied Taiwan's legislature to protest a Chinese trade deal. Colombia's president publicly wet his pants. And here's the puppy that sold for $2 million in China. It apparently has lion's blood, but still.

In scardy cat news, here's a puppy totally freaked out by this kitten.

BUY! SELL! BUY! iPhone 6 Developments
Here's what we know about the iPhone 6, which reportedly just got a production start date. New York's attorney general is giving high-speed trading the third degree. Toyota is set to pay $1 billion in a safety settlement. And Janet Yellen is set to release her first Fed policy statement today at 2 p.m.

In hide-in-seek news, you won't guess what's under this couch.

SCOUTING REPORT: Bracket Tips and Tricks
Not everyone's a fan of Nate Silver's new Five Thirty Eight. LeBron could be expecting baby number three, along with that MVP title. And last year's ESPN bracket champ shares his secrets. In the meantime, here's President Obama's final four picks.

In smart cat news, here's one getting the best of a baby.

CULTURE CATCH-UP: The Incredibles Return!!!
The new "Star Wars" movie will be set 30 years after "Return of the Jedi." Our favorite superhero family is getting a sequel: "The Incredibles 2" got the greenlight! Sofia Coppola is set to helm a live action version of "The Little Mermaid." We're curious if she'll take cues from the Discovery channel's mermaid ventures. And the final season four "Game of Thrones" trailer has us counting down the days 'til April 6th. Team Arya, all day erry day.

In animal domestication news, here's a farmer cruising into town on a giant hog.

LIVIN': Real Life Sharknado
Animals fall from the sky all the time, so "Sharknado" really isn't that far-fetched. Here's how to fold fitted sheets. Spoiler: Balling them up and angrily shoving them into your linen closet isn't the answer. Jazz up your office outfits with these accessories perfect for wowing the workplace. And watch out for this Google password-stealing scam.

In happiness news, here's a puppy remix of Pharrell's "Happy."

OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: Miley Just Being Miley
Miley Cyrus' tour bus was destroyed -- no wrecking balls needed. Kate Winslet rocked her post-baby body with a gorgeous dress at the "Divergent" premiere. Emma Watson showed off her chic black-and-white style. Cameron Diaz went skinny dipping last week. Lena Dunham denounced Woody Allen. And Miley Cyrus karaoke'd "Baby Got Back". She seemed completely sober.

In baby rhino news, here's one on a light jog.

TWITTERATI

@ConanOBrien: Just Googled 47 products I would never buy, just to see how fast ads for them pop up on my Facebook page.

@tyrabanks: Worked so hard on my eyeliner this morning that I don't want to wash it off! To sleep or not to sleep in my eye makeup? THAT is the question

@birbigs: My novel is somewhere in these eleven thousand tweets, but I'm not sure of the order.

@SarahKJP: Trying on new outfits is probably my favorite sport.

@SteveMartinToGo: Hope you enjoy my "ant" role in Noah.

ONE MORE THING
Don't take selfies on the laps of centuries-old statues. Bad things happen.

Got something to add? Send tips/quips/quotes/stories/photos/events/scoops to Lauren Weber (lauren.weber@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter (@LaurenWeberHP). Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here.


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Tuesday's Morning Email: Glimmer Of Hope Malaysian Plane Still Safe

The
St. Patrick's Day get the best of you? Here's how to get some peace and quiet while you nurse that hangover. This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Tuesday, March 18, 2014.

The Scuttlebutt

TOP STORIES

MISSING PLANE'S COMPUTER SYSTEM ALLEGEDLY HACKED
American officials believe the missing Malaysian plane's abrupt turn was the result of a computer override command entered by someone in the cockpit. Meanwhile, reports from the UN indicate sensitive nuclear monitoring equipment detected no signs of a crash or explosion, fueling hopes that the plane could have landed somewhere safely. Aviation experts are divided over whether the plane could have slipped past radar by flying at lower altitudes. Many are wondering what it means that there are no signs any passengers called for help. Oh, and Courtney Love is convinced she has found the plane. [NYT]

PUTIN DEFENDS ANNEXATION MOVE
"President Vladimir Putin on Tuesday fiercely defended Russia's move to annex Crimea, saying the rights of ethnic Russians have been abused by the new Ukrainian government." [AP]

LA SUBWAY TERRORIST PLOT THWARTED
"A 20-year-old student at a California community college, who authorities said had discussed an attack on the Los Angeles subway, has been arrested on a federal terrorism charge while trying to enter Canada for an eventual trip to the Mideast, where he planned to help a group wage holy war, officials said Monday." [LA Times]

STATESIDE: Firefighting Goats
Congress backtracked on climate change. A third SXSW hit-and-run victim has died. Be careful googling yourself -- you could find your picture on a most wanted list. A report on last year's LAX shooting faults communication gaps for the uncoordinated response. And goats are the newest tool in San Francisco's firefighting strategy.

In addicting game news, here's 2048. You'll lose hours of your life trying to beat it.

INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Mexican Cartels Are Terrifying
Mexican authorities arrested a key member of a gang accused of running a child kidnapping ring aimed at organ harvesting. Iran said attempts to damage its nuclear reactors were foiled yesterday. Scientists have made a dramatic discovery that bolsters the big bang theory. Sheldon would be proud. And there are some heartless cops in France: A French widow was fined for toasting her family members at her husband's grave.

In struggle news, here's a cat trying to get a lizard on the other side of a window.

BUY! SELL! BUY! Invisibility Cloaks... But For Real
Here's Apple's next big thing -- no, it's still not a TV. One-third of Americans have startlingly small retirement accounts -- yikes. More bad press for McDonald's: it lost a wage theft lawsuit. Watch out Gamestop: Walmart is now exchanging used video games for giftcards. GM announced three more recalls yesterday. And want to avoid your ex? Use Cloak, a new application that tells you where to go if you don't want to see anyone. We hope Harry Potter inspired that name.

In lamb news, here's one learning how to yell.

SCOUTING REPORT: Warren Buffett Won't Pay You $1 Billion
Nate Silver's brainchild, FiveThirtyEight, relaunched yesterday, and it's fantastic: Here's its piece on why Warren Buffett won't pay $1 billion to the owner of a perfect bracket. Pat Forde walks us through the bracket-killer Midwest region -- we feel for you, Witchita State. The Phillies Jimmy Rollins saga just got an ultimatum: "Lead or leave." The Cleveland Caveliers may not have a great record, but they have one heck of a graphics team. And, boy, can this kid run.

In genius news, here's how to get out of jury duty.

CULTURE CATCH-UP: Throwback Tuesday: Clinton Edition
Check out these throwback pictures of Hillary Clinton from her college days. Gwyneth Paltrow sang Pharrell's "Happy" for "Glee." Brittany Murphy's last movie will be released more than four years after her death. And ten years after the premiere of "LOST," its creators and castmates sat down to talk secrets.

In caffiene news, here's some gorgeous minimalistic art made out of coffee grounds.

LIVIN': Traffic Stops, Big and Small
Cops are always out to get you -- especially if you're a speeding 2-year-old. Wanna rock the layered necklace trend? Here are secrets to pulling it off. What does it mean to leave Earth to start a colony on Mars? The Atlantic talks to five of the American citizens vying for a chance to do just that. There is now such a thing as a "selfie stick." And the radio station that was playing Nelly's seasonally appropriate classic "It's Getting Hot in Herre" has ended its endless loop. Take a minute to mourn, people.

In corgi puppy news, here are some adorable pups celebrating St. Patrick's Day.

OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: No Siblings for Prince George...Yet
Prince William quashed baby rumors with a bold declaration yesterday. L'Wren Scott committed suicide yesterday. The fashion designer and model had recently split from Mick Jagger. Nicole Kidman's son Connor vouched for his relationship with his mom. Pope Francis backed out of meeting with "Noah" star Russell Crowe. Jamie Lynn Spears released her gorgeous wedding photos. Chris Brown is going to be sitting in a jail for a while. And here are a bunch of Ryan Gosling gifs, because hey, it's Tuesday.

In sibling shenanigans news, here's why you shouldn't jump off a couch.

TWITTERATI

@azizansari: Actual txt from my dad: "did U here about. The Earth quake at LA Aniz felt it Harris is at VietNam" Is this a ransom note??

@realDonaldTrump: There are many editorial writers that are good, some great, & some bad. But the least talented of all is frumpy Gail Collins of NYTimes.

@RevRunWisdom: You can be anything you want in this world. . Just don't be ungrateful

@ParisHilton: OMG! Did anyone just feel that Earthquake? So scary, woke me up out of an already scary nightmare. I hate earthquakes. :(

@MileyCyrus: Night 2 with Musso ❤️ sad to leave Houston 😿 pic.twitter.com/4lA2l2HmLg


ONE MORE THING
Tired this morning? Here's 37 ways to get better shuteye.

Got something to add? Send tips/quips/quotes/stories/photos/events/scoops to Lauren Weber (lauren.weber@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter (@LaurenWeberHP). Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here.

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Monday's Morning Email: Could The Pilot Be Behind The Missing Plane?

The
March Madness: Both the basketball and weather kinds. This is THE MORNING EMAIL for Monday, March 17, 2014.

The Scuttlebutt

TOP STORIES

CRIMEA DECLARES INDEPENDENCE FROM UKRAINE After a referendum passed overwhelmingly in favor of joining Russia on Sunday, Crimea declared independence from Ukraine. The U.S. refuses to recognize the move, citing voter intimidation. [AP]

PILOTS, CREW UNDER SUSPICION IN MISSING FLIGHT Authorities are taking a closer look at Malaysia Airlines 370's pilots and crew after learning the pilot radioed after the communications system was deliberately turned off. Relatives are holding out hope that maybe, just maybe the plane landed somewhere safely. And The Washington Post maps out where the plane could be. [Reuters]

WEARING WHITE FOR ST. PATRICK'S DAY Everywhere from St. Louis to New York is being hit with more snow. Winter will never leave us. Protect the fire. [USA Today]

STATESIDE: Broken Wings
Guinness pulled its support from the St. Patrick's Day parade in NYC since gay and lesbian groups are unable to march openly. Sexual assault charges were downgraded as part of a plea deal in the trial of one of the highest-ranking military officials to face such accusations. The founder of Westboro Baptist Church is dying, his estranged son revealed yesterday, along with the fact that he was excommunicated from his own church. A seriously injured victim of the SXSW hit-and-run was visited in her hospital bedroom by the band she was there to see. A new cancer vaccine for melanoma could be the future of treatment. The Obama White House is censoring or denying access to more documents than ever before. And a Delta plane lost part of its wing panel in flight to Atlanta, because that wouldn't be a scary thing to see that out your window. [Image via Twitter]

In Houdini news, here's a cat escaping his locked cage.

INTERNATIONAL INTRIGUE: Navy Seals Continue to Be Boss
U.S. Navy Seals took over a rogue Libyan tanker yesterday. Afghani President Karzai railed against the U.S. military in one of his final addresses this weekend. North Korea fired off a bunch of rockets in order to prepare for "an invasion." Like to drive in Paris? Too bad, as new regulations are in place after a sudden onset of severe smog in the City of Love. And check out pictures of Holi, India's beautiful festival of colors.

In St. Patrick's Day news, here's a timelapse of the Chicago River being dyed green.

BUY! SELL! BUY! People More Certain, Or Something Like That
People are feeling less uncertain, which is good for the markets. We're still confused as to how they measure certainty, but good news! European stocks are on the up and up despite Ukranian worries. Food pantries are on the rise... at college campuses. Marissa Mayer's having a good week: China's internet juggernaut Alibaba announced it's going public. Yahoo holds a 24% stake in the company. Honda recalled almost a million Odyssey's (or Hodessies) because of a fire risk. And here are the 9 retailers closing the most stores this year.

In cheesecake news, here's a bunch we are salivating over.

SCOUTING REPORT: Bring on the Madness!
ARE YOU READYYYYYY TO RUMBLE?
It's March Madness time. Here's Huffington Post's go-to bracket maker, as well as ESPN's bracketology. When we grow up, we want to be bracketologists. Apparently March is the most popular time to get a vasectomy -- too many people lose too much money in their office pools and realize they can't support more kids. Don't be that guy. And in bad news bears news, Colts owner Jim Arsay was arrested for a DUI and possession last night (technically this morning, but semantics).

In winter weight news, here's a big bulldog having a hard time getting onto a chair.

CULTURE CATCH-UP: Oprah's Studio For Sale
Jenny McCarthy's anti-vaccination crusade got slammed on Twitter -- the public isn't putting up with the madness. "The Mentalist" is one of the 14 TV shows that are likely to be canceled. An animated talking dog movie beat a racing movie at the box office this weekend. "Veep" finally released a trailer for its third season. "Game of Thrones" and Madonna fans rejoice: Madge dressed up as the Mother of Dragons this weekend. Oprah's selling her studio, nobody is getting a car now. And Angelina Jolie actually blushed while talking about those pesky rumors about her directing "50 Shades of Grey."

In flashback news, here's why S Club 7 sums up everything about1999.

LIVIN': Shelter Dogs Are Where It's At
Because you're probably gonna have one today, here are some fun facts about Guinness. Wireless electricity no longer just exists in scifi novels. These photos of shelter dogs will have you adopting one in no time. Here are 10 St. Patrick's Day-themed treats -- because we need an excuse to indulge our sweettooth. Promised you'd give up sweets for Lent? Here are 22 healthy meals to chomp on for the week. The kale salads are Jesus-approved.

In stalking news, here are some BIG cats getting their creep on.

OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS: Princess Decorating Woes
Even a princess has a hard time keeping a renovation budget in line -- looks like Kate Middleton's palace overhaul has gotten pricey (but here she is looking lovely at St. Patrick's day festivities!). Today show anchor Savannah Guthrie got married AND announced she was pregnant this weekend -- congrats! Drake and Rihanna are officially exclusive -- cue the inevitable music video where they're dancing in the rain in front of a giant fire. Jennifer Hudson is parting... wait for it... weighs with Weight Watchers (nailed it!). Lorde shot down engagement rumors -- REMEMBER SHE'S 17! Jamie Lynn Spears got hitched on Friday. Chris Pine pled guilty to drunk driving in New Zealand. Kat Dennings stood up for guest star Lindsay Lohan. Despite rumors, a prominent "Seinfeld" star is *not* dead. And check out all of Kerry Washington's fabulous pregnancy style.

In living-it-up news, here's a dog taking advantage of being left alone with his owner's bed.

TWITTERATI

@zachbraff: CNN is amazing at reporting all day on a story with no new facts. They just interviewed a seal who thinks he saw the plane.

@SteveMartinToGo: Temperature fluctuating wildly between 80 and 81 requires constant maintenence of ice cubes in tea. Tiresome.

@yokoono: Your wishes come true. So be careful what you wish for.

@samsteinhp: how does one become a bracketologist?

@rainnwilson: Hi. One thing you should know about me is I'm wearing black dress socks and vans.

ONE MORE THING
Here's why you should always go scuba diving with a spear -- so you can fend off shark attacks.

Got something to add? Send tips/quips/quotes/stories/photos/events/scoops to Lauren Weber (lauren.weber@huffingtonpost.com). Follow us on Twitter (@LaurenWeberHP). Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here.

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